Taarof
Dancing in public is forbidden in Iran, but you will be shocked when you face the verbal waltz dance when you get familiar with Persian culture. According to Urban Dictionary, Taarof is a Persian word for a custom that is ONLY applied in Iranian culture. Persian Walk would say Taarof is a kind of Persian etiquette for politeness and generosity. In other words, it is an exaggerated version of universal human behavior.
It could be seen as pretending you don’t want something when you really do. Offer something when you don’t really plan to give it away or say nice things you don’t mean. Sometimes, it can be extremely frustrating and seem disingenuous. Still, at other times, it provides a nice framework for how to interact with other people in an extremely polite and respectful way.
You did not get it? No worries. Let’s make an example
In Iranian culture, it is customary to offer guests a glass of water or a cup of tea; many Western cultures do the same. But an Iranian guest who’s Ta’arofing would refuse the beverage on the first pass. The host would insist and offer again. Finally, on the third round, the guest would accept the drink. Any other scenario would be considered rude.
Taarof can be manifested in many situations, but in most cases, you, as a solo traveler, cannot get rid of it at shops. You ask the shopkeeper: gheymat chande? (How much is it?) He would smile and say ghabele shoma ro nadare (which literally means it is free for you or be my guest), but no way, it is not free, and he does not lie or want to defraud you; he simply does ta’arofing and shows his politeness. Say: thanks, that is nice of you. But how much should I pay?
Another example is while entering or leaving a building. Exactly at the door, people stop and tell the other person to pass first. In some cases it shows the politeness but if it get long time it is TAAROF. Don’t forget that this type of taarof (First you!) is just for people walking and while driving it doesn’t work at all. Iranian drivers want to be first with NO taarof. So It’s important to ask travel agents to arrange a safe driver while traveling in Iran.
Finally, if you still need more input about Persian culture, in our free walking tour, we practice Taarof and give you hints on how to stop Ta’arofing. By participating in our free walking tour run by Persian Walk on the first or second day of your arrival in Tehran, you become equipped mentally with how to deal with this sweet art of etiquette.
